The Kingdom of Heaven

I knew this day was going to come, so did the kids. So why is it I was up before the sun, dreading the sound of the morning wake up call and the start of my last day? Why did the first words this morning have to be "don't leave us"? Why do I have to choose? I understand now what Leslie meant when she said she would like to live in both worlds - the mission field and at home with her family. So I'll echo her question, can't I have my cake and eat it too?

This facility is nothing like that from which Leslie returned last spring. Still, their need for love, and Christ, are the same. There is such a mixing of faiths here between the cultural Hindu of their heritage and the Catholic sects that govern their facility that the message of Christ's love seems lost - lost in the message of His love it being the only focus, if that's even possible to understand. There is a gulf between our modern day philosophy of basic child rearing psychology and the expectation that "I said do it" and public shaming should be enough to shape a child. Practical application of faith outside of loving others is non-existent. And hugs are just as few and far between.

But it is time and I am surprisingly at peace with it. If I could fit Pratiksha in my suitcase she would be coming with me, but so would a dozen others for various reasons. So today we played dress up. Lets dress up Maam Kim in an Indian suit. Let's dress up Maam Kim in a sari. Let's hold on to every moment while saying goodbye. Having someone visit is a new experience for them so this is a bit hard. None of them are up for adoption so this home is a known future for the time being. Father Bento will find places for them to continue their education or develop marketable skills when it is time for them to leave. The first class will be leaving this March and it will be a wake up call for many that this safe and securely ordered life is not without end.

But is this not what Christ warns us about, complacency? That which He has given is not assured to last forever, but that which He offers is eternal. We too are so blinded by the here and now we often miss the promise of His Kingdom because we become comfortable in the safe cocoon He has provided.

I am comfortable in my comfortable home in the US, and I'm not giving it up. I don't think He has called me to that end. I do think He has called me to live with purpose,far more purpose than I have been.

I've seen breathtaking wonders here; tombs and palaces that have stood through wars and dynasties and still retain their grace and beauty. But I've seen a glimpse of Heaven in these children and it far outweighs the sights in my memories. It could be the whole-hearted way they love God or the way they worship His holiness when they sing. Whatever it is, it showed me the Christ of my heart and reminded me how simple it is to live for His glory and let that be enough.